"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it."
Ellen Goodman
Don't we all grow up wanting to get married, own a home with a white picket fence, have a dog and 2.5 children? Well, don't we? It's that same image that has been crammed down the throats of generations of Americans almost since the time of our forefathers. What is so desirable about this happenstance? I for one just cannot understand it. Firstly, owning a home is not worth the hassle. Why pay the same amount, if not more, per month to a mortgage when you can rent and not be liable to fix anything that breaks. You don't have to cut the lawn, take care of the shrubs, or worry about leaky roofs! Sure you won't have four wooden walls on a tiny plot of land to say is yours, but I can live without that.
Then there's marriage, and kids. Ugh. Who says everyone has to get married? Can't we just revel in our solitude? Sure we're all social animals, but that doesn't mean we have to push the envelope and live with these other animals! Honestly. And kids! Let's not get started on kids.
But the whole topic for this post is based on Mariane's comment in game the other day:
You know, Mari is completely right:
"It's that damned culture of the 'self' that comes with the American way"
And you know what, I would go one step further and say that that IS the American way. If it's not beneficial for me then why should I do it? It's a horrible way to go about life and relationships, but sadly it is what our culture has evolved into. Perhaps the epitome of this is New York, New York. Now, I've only ever met fantastically nice people from there, but the way the 'common' New Yorker is portrayed is not a very nice picture. They are bossy, rude, and care only about their own needs and wants. While I hope that New Yorkers are a hyperbole of the rest of Americans, I am proven wrong more and more everyday.
And this American Attitude is easily transferred into the world of Vana'diel. Why help so-and-so with their limit break quest? What benefit do you get for helping them level higher? Practically nothing. It is natural sociological behavior for any animal, human included, to not repeat acts that reap no reward. FFXI is a sobering view of how other countries actually feel about Americans. They tolerate us, but our own arrogance and self-centeredness has scared away any friends that we might have once had. Oh, but they're still 'friends', but only because we, believe it or not, are still a powerful country military-wise.
I shall leave you with this quote to ponder and, hopefully, put into action; not only in-game, but in life aswell:
Don't we all grow up wanting to get married, own a home with a white picket fence, have a dog and 2.5 children? Well, don't we? It's that same image that has been crammed down the throats of generations of Americans almost since the time of our forefathers. What is so desirable about this happenstance? I for one just cannot understand it. Firstly, owning a home is not worth the hassle. Why pay the same amount, if not more, per month to a mortgage when you can rent and not be liable to fix anything that breaks. You don't have to cut the lawn, take care of the shrubs, or worry about leaky roofs! Sure you won't have four wooden walls on a tiny plot of land to say is yours, but I can live without that.
Then there's marriage, and kids. Ugh. Who says everyone has to get married? Can't we just revel in our solitude? Sure we're all social animals, but that doesn't mean we have to push the envelope and live with these other animals! Honestly. And kids! Let's not get started on kids.
But the whole topic for this post is based on Mariane's comment in game the other day:
You know, Mari is completely right:
"It's that damned culture of the 'self' that comes with the American way"
And you know what, I would go one step further and say that that IS the American way. If it's not beneficial for me then why should I do it? It's a horrible way to go about life and relationships, but sadly it is what our culture has evolved into. Perhaps the epitome of this is New York, New York. Now, I've only ever met fantastically nice people from there, but the way the 'common' New Yorker is portrayed is not a very nice picture. They are bossy, rude, and care only about their own needs and wants. While I hope that New Yorkers are a hyperbole of the rest of Americans, I am proven wrong more and more everyday.
And this American Attitude is easily transferred into the world of Vana'diel. Why help so-and-so with their limit break quest? What benefit do you get for helping them level higher? Practically nothing. It is natural sociological behavior for any animal, human included, to not repeat acts that reap no reward. FFXI is a sobering view of how other countries actually feel about Americans. They tolerate us, but our own arrogance and self-centeredness has scared away any friends that we might have once had. Oh, but they're still 'friends', but only because we, believe it or not, are still a powerful country military-wise.
I shall leave you with this quote to ponder and, hopefully, put into action; not only in-game, but in life aswell:
- "Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you."
- Diana Spencer
5 comments:
There's some deep thinking on that post ! I really appreciated it :)
Gives me hope for the future, ruru ! :D
Yes, quite deep today. ^^ I personally want 2.5 dogs instead, but that's me.
Joking aside, you might find the following article interesting, also...it's about the concept of "Biological Altruism" as an evolutionary social development:
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/altruism-biological/
Dispensing temporarily with the cultural/humano-centric notions that selfishness (or altruism) is limited to any particular demographic (or nation) of people, along with the argument (however valid/invalid) that we are made in a divine image and thus our selfish vs. selfless temperaments reflect divine or banal origins, it's interesting to realise that certain animal social groups have what we could only really describe as an "altruistic" side.
The article talks about it more in length, but the crux of the discussion is, vis-a-vis a stark Darwinistic view of "survival of the fittest", why would the behavioural/social trait of helping others to survive (at the risk/endangerment of the self) ever evolve at all? I know it seems very obvious in some regards to human society that we have 'compassion' and 'sacrifice to the greater good', as well as 'providing for the needs of the most important', but that does fly in the face of 'your personal chances of survival increase dramatically by being selfish'.
It's really that conflict of self-interest/self-survival over the concept of social altruism that fueled both the philosophies of Wilhelm Nietzche's "Will to Power" (over his notion of "slave values") and Ayn Rand's Objectivist "rational self-interest" (over the immorality of altruism perpetuating social orders like the State or Union or mob.) Try giving those two philosophers a read sometime...while not always convicing in their reasoning (to me at least, as a Christian who is altruistic) if you view their philosophies from the standpoint of their own lives, personal histories, and value systems, they make some very interesting points about how some values are ingrained into our very being purely through a social system.
Oprah,
Your perception of American selfishness is true, but your perception that other cultures aren't is false. I believe Americans don't hide the fact that we are selfish. This is probably based on the capitalist society we live in. Americans are very upfront, we like to speak our mind, which is probably due to our freedom of speech that many people really take for granted.
Growing up in an asian culture i can probably understand the Japanese culture a little better than you can. Remember Japan is big on honor. This mean they learn to hide that their dishonorable intents. What is the best way to do that? Of course through misdirection and act the opposite, by making themselves look really unselfish.
You know what people say "It's the quiet ones you have to look out for because you know they are hiding something."
Growing up in a chinese culture I have always thought Chinese people are the most unselfish people in the world. During social events, everyone is always offering to pay the bill. Everyone is always so courteous and nice to each other. But as i grow older and start to truly understand the Chinese culture I learned that in fact Chinese people are the most cutthroat people in the world, and the niceness they display during social events is done to hide the fact that we are so cutthroat. There is a great amount of emphasis in the chinese culture on family. This means when it comes to family, everyone is on their best behavoir. But when it comes to friends, neighbors, and even strangers, all's game like love and war.
Hey!I´m Demando and I´ve been a few times to your LS. Mari told me about this post.
Altruism is a quite puzzling topic for me. I see it as a long-term return on investment, as you help people and don´t make any expectations that this action will come back soon as a reaction, even in your whole lifetime.
If you believe in Newton, it might come back and benefit humanity somehow. Concurrently bad things also come back to do they job. lol
Btw Schutzie,my dog doesn´t go get the newspaper if I don´t show him a crispy cookie...Maybe it´s our big task as human beings to start thinking deeply about rewards that will come to people who aren´t even born yet.
Oprah <3
Thanks for your lovely responses on my blog. It feels like you're trying to seduce me, but I know better <3
@Jokul: I KNOW RIGHT?
Chinese are hypocrites.
When everyone gets in the car to go back home after a social event, it's always a bitch-fest...ahhh.
I despise contemporary chinese culture.
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