My first attempt at an Epic Poem. I wrote this as my final project in my Poetry class at Scraft. 22 April 2010
The Day the World Ended1
‘Twas a day like any other
‘cept for prophesized doom.2
A rainy day if’n I remember
What was it? Ah, yes—the 21st of December
Two-thousand and twelve, it had been foretold
By the Mayans of many, many’a days old.
Their calendar stopped dead, on that same day
At least that is what the archeologists say.
It started out with a boom, and a bang, and a blast,
The oceans were’a twirlin’, an’ a whirlin’ – so fast!
Spouting up from the surface ‘round all the globe
T’were these catastrophic cyclones – but that’s just a blurb.
The rest of this tale is too gruesome to tell,
Tis a shame, it’s a good’un – oh, well.
Wait, what’s that? You want to hear more?
Fine, I’ll continue, no need to implore!
Twas a rainy day in December
If’n I do quite well remember
Or t’were it snowin’ something fierce?
Either way, the frigid wind did pierce
The bundled garments of wintery weather
Wrapp’d ‘round everyone – a skin-tight sweater –
Penetrate the wind did, like slings and arrows.
Outrageous fortunes3 , ripped ‘part like Post-It4 memos.
T’weren’t but a few, though e’eryone knew,
Who prepared for disaster and eminent doom.
The masses, they did make their quotidian5 rounds
Busy with work – cell phones and laptops abound;
Clickin’, clackin’, ringin’ – it t’were quite the racket –
Fillin’ ‘eads6, streets, and minds with techno argot7.
Those whose eyes did lift from glowin’ screens
T’were the first to end their daily routines.
Nostradamus8 sits back, rolling in his grave,
Teasin’ an’ tauntin’ – not trying to behave.
Desperately wantin’ to chastise an’ scourge;
A cacophony of sound, twas our dirge9.
He wheezed and he hacked10, betwixt laughs,
“I told you so,” Nostradamus does chaff11,
“La vie12 could have been such a breeze,
If only you had heeded Les Prophéties13”
From the sky they fell like rain;
Drops of death, usherin’ pain
To its seat in the middle o’ the row,
Kicking shins and steppin’ on toes.114
T’were creepy crawlers, those wretched things,
Swarmin’ down from the Earth’s ceiling,
The locusts they did come first
Heraldin’ eminent doom for us poor accursed.15
Panic did encumber the crowds and the masses,
scurryin' 'bout like pests, rodents, or roaches.
Vyin' for cover, and fightin' one another
'twas hard to differentiate blue-collar16 from beggar
as they hid under awnin's, bridges, and boxes
frightened 'nd bewildered, hidin' from doomsday's clutches.
Unluckily for us, tis just the beginning
t'was plenty more to do; much, much, more dooming.
Turns out tis true 'bout the end o' the world
The antichrist17 did come and our tears were impearled
Upon our cheeks, running rampant and fluid
As we did plead; our futures, doubted
We turned to religion to solve all our problems
And it did come so close – almost to the angstrom19 -
The problem with religion ‘twas simple, indeed,
We don't all share views and heed the same creeds.20
‘Twas too late for all that, now that I think on it,
For pummelin' our cities t'were meteors and comets.
Relentless space beasts, now crushin' down ‘pon us
Destroyin' spirits and pavements - if only we had an aegis!21
To protect our all too destructible society;
Burnin' trees, parks, and other bowery22
Did cause an uproar of smoke, and ash, and gases
T'were the translucent destroyers who caused most losses.
If that t'weren't enough, and any had remained,
They would have seen 'quakes, tornados, and hurricanes;
Ravaging the landscapes, city and agrestic alike.
From Mount Fuji23 to the New Jersey turnpike,
No place left unscathed, the wrath of doomsday.
Woe is me! Woe is you!
For it turns out it was true!
‘Tis the trouble with prophesized doom.
Foot Notes
1. Also the title of a 1955 movie directed by Roger Corman
2. It is said that due to the Mayan calendar ending on December 21st, 2012 that the world will end. That, or the Mayans were tired of drawing out a calendar that goes on for centuries.
3. A borrowing of phrase from Shakespeare’s Hamlet and the famous ‘To be or not to be’ soliloquy.
4. Perhaps the greatest invention since sliced bread; tiny, brightly colored, sticky notes that, when not lost in clutter, are extremely helpful in remembering things.
5. Daily; ordinary; common place
6. ‘eads: a shortened form of ‘heads’ to reflect the gruff British accent of the narrator.
7. \ahr-guht\ the special vocabulary and idiom of a particular profession or social group
8. Michel de Nostredame; a French apothecary and reputed seer
9. A funeral song or tune, or one expressing mourning in commemoration of the dead
10. From the popular idiom, ‘To hack up a lung’; to cough
11. To mock, tease, or jest in a good-natured way
12. French for ‘Life’
13. French for ‘The Prophecies’; the title of the books published by Nostradamus consisting of quatrains foretelling the future
14. We’ve all had this experience before, the one person who’s late to a show and they just happen to have the seat in the middle of the row. You’d think they would at least be courteous about it, but no, they shove past.
15. An allusion to the biblical story of Moses where the first plague is a swarm of locusts.
16. A professional worker; accountant, businessman, attorney
17. It’s said that one day an antichrist will appear and usher in the end of the world and the second coming of Christ will happen.
18. To form into drops resembling pearls
19. A unit of length, equal to one tenth of a millimicron, or one ten millionth of a millimeter
20. An authoritative, formulated statement of the chief articles of Christian belief, as the Apostles' Creed, the Nicene Creed, or the Athanasian Creed.
21. The shield or breastplate of Zeus or Athena, bearing at its center the head of a Gorgon.
22. Containing bowers; leafy; shady
23. The tallest mountain in Japan and an active stratovalcano.
Dorothy was right after all
14 years ago
